4 Stress Reduction Lessons I’ve Learned from My New Computer
Read how an innocent computer upgrade turned into a nightmare and what you can learn about stress reduction from my experience
Readers who have been following my Facebook or Twitter updates are probably aware that I was pretty stressed up lately. In the last two weeks, I’ve been battling with computer problems that led to missed blog updates, postponed projects and of course, more stress. The saga started in mid July when I decided to get a replacement for my old computer which was running Windows XP on a Pentium 4 processor. But never did I expect that the highly anticipated upgrade would turn out to be a nightmarish experience which went on for more than two weeks. Now looking back, there are some valuable lessons I’ve learned that I hope will be of some use to you:
1. Get a Reality Check!
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Because I’ve enjoyed relatively crash-free Windows XP for a number of years, I’ve come to expect the newer Windows 7 to be equally stable. Although this was a logical expectation, it turned out to be an unrealistic one that led to the bulk of my disappointments and anguish. Windows 7 is only released in October 2009, while its bigger brother Windows XP has been around for years and thus would have most of its bugs identified and fixed. New technologies, not just software but hardware included, take time to mature and stabilize. This piece of important fact has, of course, escaped my consideration when I was shopping for a new computer. Not only did I get the latest operating system, I also paired it with the latest processor and motherboard which came with drivers that have not yet stood the test of time. On hindsight, I should have waited for another year or so before upgrading to Windows 7, and stick to components that have been released for at least a year.
How to apply this lesson: Before you purchase that latest gadget or electronic product, get a reality check first. Search online for real-life issues that people have faced while using the product. Then decide how relevant these problems are to you. For something like a personal computer where driver issues and software conflicts abound, it may not be such a good idea to be an early adopter as I’ve learned, especially if that’s going to be your primary computer and you don’t have a second one to fall back on. You could end up not having a working PC and find yourself stranded in a no-Internet-land for days.
2. Don’t Stress Over
Things You’re Not Good At
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When I experienced problems with my new computer, I attempted to solve the issues myself even though I’m not a very technically inclined person. As a matter of fact, I loathe troubleshooting and fixing computer problems. That’s the reason why I bought a complete system instead of building one myself. But, in order not to look like a computer idiot, I spent lots of time searching online and reading forums and articles, hoping that I’d find solutions that I can use. Needless to say, I ended up extremely stressed since I don’t have a good background in computer hardware and software, know nothing about how to operate troubleshooting tools, and yet was trying to be an expert in these areas. I ended up wasting lots of time doing fruitless tasks which didn’t really help the situation much.
How to apply this lesson: Are you trying to be an expert in an area where you’re clearly not one to begin with? Don’t add more inconvenience, agony and pain to the ones you already have. Instead of saving time and money, you might just end up losing more. It’s better to get help from people who can do the job better, faster and effortlessly.
3. Know When to Cut Your Losses
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My new computer went through five parts replacement in a short span of two weeks. I’m lucky (well, in a way) that the seller I was dealing with was a responsible person who was genuinely trying to give me his best service and product. I could see that he was as perplexed by the bizarre computer symptoms (sudden freezes and random blue screens) as I was even after he has replaced almost every changeable part in the computer. So, although the last replacement didn’t solve all my PC woes completely (some USB 2.0 ports behave like USB 1.0 and there are still occasional unexplained blue screens), rather than insisting on making more replacements and causing more griefs and losses for both of us, I decided to make do with what I’ve got and get on with my work and life.
I’m not saying that you should accept inferior products or services. There’s always a time to insist on your rights as a consumer. But if the return you get is far lesser than the agonies and losses you’ve to go through, and is causing more pain to people who have tried their best to help, then perhaps it’s not such a good idea after all.
How to apply this lesson: Weigh the pros and cons before letting your perfectionist streak take over. Ask yourself “Is it worth it?”, “Are you losing more than what you would get in return?”. In my case, I realized that my quest for a perfect computer that never hangs was causing me as well as the small business owner lots of undue stress. Further, it’s also unfair to go after someone’s neck when I’m not even sure where the problem lies. It could very well be driver issues which the seller has no control over.
4. Accept Your Problems
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Throughout the agonizing two weeks, my sole focus was to get the seller to fix the computer. There was a lot of internal resistance and struggle to what was happening externally. “This computer is unacceptable”, “Why can’t it behaves the way it should?!”, “How do I get the seller to understand my pain when the symptoms are completely random?”, “What if the seller decided to push all the blames back to me?”, “How can I get the seller to agree to another replacement so that I can have a stable system?” etc. My feelings were of course on a rough roller-coaster ride that swung with the outcome of each solution tried on the system. When a part was replaced, I would feel hopeful and happy, thinking that my problem was gone. But when it turned out otherwise, I’d feel an overwhelming sense of disappointment.
But the moment I decided to let go of my inner struggles, stopped trying to hold anyone answerable to what was happening and accepted my reality, there was a liberating sense of relief. It also helped me to see things beyond myself more clearly. I can now feel the pain that the seller must have gone through as well. So I quickly sent a text message to him apologizing the troubles I must have caused, instead of taking for granted what he has done for me even if they were part of the purchase. Accepting my reality didn’t make the problems disappeared of course, but it put the problems in perspective and made them less intimidating than what they used to be. Suddenly, more options appeared before me than before: “Do I really need 14 USB 2.0 ports when I hardly ever use more than 5?”, “A re-installation of the operating system and shutting off unnecessary drivers might just resolve the blue screens of death as well as the USB issues”, “I could replace Windows 7 with Windows XP which has been a darling for so long”, and etc.
How to apply this lesson: When a problem crops up, we tend to run away, resist, or disown the issue and blame it on someone else. But these moves only result in more stress for you and others. The next time around, try this instead: Accept what has happened as much as you can; don’t fight it. Denying your reality can’t undo what has already taken place, instead it only makes you feel more helpless and depressed. It’s not going to be easy to accept reality, especially when it’s harsh. But you could very well get a much needed sense of inner peace that gives you, and others, more space to breathe and more options to choose from like the way I’ve felt.
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as soon as I saw your story about the stress you’ve been with windoZ, I couldn’t resist to add my comments.
First, you should have asked your readers for advise.
I know that majority are still windoZ slaves, and this too bad. I was also a windoZ slave since 1995 until 3 years ago when I started noticing articles about iMacs. First I haven’t paid attention, but slowly my curiousity picked up and I began to read more and more and then I realized how stupid and brainwashed I was all these years by the windoZ industry. I was getting fascinated by the new World of Apple Computers: their uniqueness, their esthetic beauty, unparalleled quality, the beauty of all the Mac software… and I got my iMac.
iMac specifically is a piece of art. If you don’t know, there is NO cpu box, because everything masterfully built inside the back of the screen. Terrible noise that always comes from ugly PCs doesn’t exist. Complete silence.
There is no better screen than the brilliant Mac screen.
Yea, it’s by itself a piece of art.
The operating system is the best it can be, no need for anti-anything to be installed. I my PC years I always had maximum protection – at least 5-6 “anti-something” programs were running. Now I have nothing. And I don’t have to worry about anything, even in the email.
iPhoto, iWork, and ALL other thousands of software are elegant programs written using cocoa language.
If you have iPhone or iPad or iPad (I don’t) you can see how beautifully they are designed. That’s the work of all the geniuses in Apple, but most of all it’s Steve Jobs’ genius.
I suggest to you, start saving for Mac. It’s not too much, only about $1200. But check and see what you get…
good luck meantime with your windoZ..;-)
I hope I didn’t accidentally trigger a PC vs Mac war.
But thanks so much for your advice, Zalman. You’re right, I should have asked my readers first before plunging head in. 
Consider that a lesson learned!
sorry, that’s my fault. didn’t mean to do it. i guess we Mac folks are a pretty satisfied lot and our enthusiasm runs over ~ oops!
Ha ha, don’t worry, Kristen. To be fair, I did enjoy a number of good years with PCs. It just happened that my latest upgrade turned awfully wrong. I don’t blame anyone really. No one, including the seller, wanted any of these to happen. But after this episode, let’s just say that I’ll have more choices at my disposal when the next upgrade is due.
oh, i’m so sorry you’ve gone through all this misery! the simplest solution, from my perspective, is to dump the PC world and buy a Mac! i love my iMac and have, literally, no issues ~ ever! i upgrade to the next computer because the work i do needs the breadth that the next system offers, not from issues with my existing computer. just gotta love a Mac!
Thank so much for your kind words and advice, Kristen! I might just make the switch in my next computer upgrade although Mac generally costs more. For now, I’ve already exhausted my budget on this PC. So, I’ve got to make the best use of it now. :p
yep, it costs more in the beginning, but offers years of trouble free work. so, long term, the costs are well worth it! perhaps next time you can make the move to a Mac.
my father’s getting ready to make the switch after decades of using PCs. he has witnessed my sister and i having virtually no issues with our Macs while he’s had to go through all the typical PC stuff and he’s tired of dealing with it. he’s 86. the last PC he got was the top of the line with all the bells and whistles. he thought it would be the last PC he he would need for the rest of his life. instead it’s been nothing but frustrating, so he’ll switch to a Mac soon for trouble free use for the rest of his life!
Wow, your Dad’s story is a powerful one and sounds pretty much like what I’m going through now. Okie, will definitely check out Macs in my next computer upgrade. Thanks, Kristen!