The year-end holidays are around the corner once again. Are you looking forward to the festive season with joy and excitement, or do you dread to think about the holidays and can’t wait for them to be over?
The pressure to create the perfect holiday can put a tremendous stress on us and extinguish whatever ‘magic’ that’s left of the season.
Let us learn to enjoy the holidays once again by expelling some of the common myths and deeply ingrained beliefs that threaten to ruin our festive mood.
1. Year-end Holidays are Special
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The hype surrounding the holidays is way out of proportion to what they really are. The media has successfully made us feel that the year-end holidays are so special that you must be some alien creature from Mars if you don’t get a Christmas tree, decorate your home, attends lots of parties, down liters of alcohol, hand out presents to everyone you know, or eat at least one turkey. The end result? A holiday season that’s busier, more expensive and more stressful than any other festivals in the year.
But, if you stop and think about the holidays, you’ll realize that they’re really no different from any other public holidays, or for that matter, any other day. We are the one who made them seem super important and gave ourselves unrealistic expectation to make them magical.
And many of us try too hard to recapture the heart-warming holiday experience from our childhood memories. But however hard we try, they can never be the same. The time is different, the place is different, the people are different and even you are not the same anymore!
By all means share and reminisce about the wonderful time you had in the past, but don’t give yourself the undue pressure of re-creating the perfect, unforgettable holiday experience.
And if you’re one of those in which the holidays hold no special meaning to you personally, why subject yourself to the hype just because everyone is doing it? It’s okay to tell people that you don’t celebrate the holidays; it’s okay to do the same old things that you do everyday during the holidays. Give no apology and enjoy a stress-free holiday.
2. Big Present Equals Deep Love
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Who knows since when we’ve started to equate the price of a gift with the amount of love we have for someone. “This gift probably costs $10 only. So that’s how important I’m to her.” “My hubby will feel so unloved if I don’t get this new gadget for him.”
Love equals money. We measure love by how expensive are the gifts we receive, whether we like to admit it or not. So in order to display our affection, or not to look bad on ourselves, we feel obliged to give presents that are of a certain monetary value, even if that means stretching beyond what we can afford. That’s a perfect way to land ourselves in stress, not to mention financial troubles.
The commercial messages that bombard us heavily during this period of the year didn’t help much either: Give the latest; express your love with the best; make your children feel special; fulfill the Christmas dream of our loved ones! The pressure to buy has never been stronger.
Stop soaking in these external noise and think for yourself instead: How can I express my love without having to burn a hole in my pocket? Getting yourself into debt, or postponing your other important life goals just so that you can spend more is definitely not the true spirit of Christmas. It’s high time to get your priorities right.
Secondly, before going on a shopping spree, spend at least a day making a list of what you need to buy and the budget you can afford, and stick to it at all cost. That will help to keep your holiday spending within an allocated amount, prevent overspending, and save you from making repeated trips to the malls.
It’s especially important not to inculcate young children with the big-present-equals-deep-love concept. Establish an agreement with your kids that they’re allowed to make a Christmas wish list with items under a certain amount. And don’t focus the entire holidays on presents only. This time of the year is also about spending more quality time with the family and reaching out to people less fortunate than us. Help your children to see beyond the material facade of the season by taking the chance to teach them simple life lessons, such as the joy of giving and how to manage money. These are the things that they will remember, not the expensive gifts which they get, many years down the road.
Lastly, don’t feel compelled to give presents to every Tom, Dick or Harry that you know of. If guilt sets in, instead of buying stuff that people probably don’t need, try making or buying inexpensive elegant cards and fill them with hand-written messages that will make the recipients feel special, appreciated or remembered. The year-end season is an excellent opportunity to give thanks, patch up, establish or reinforce relationships.
3. I Must Show My Best Self
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This is more of an unconscious thought, rather than one that we’re aware of. But it’s powerful nonetheless. It motivates us to clean our house frantically, pushes us to look for our long unused gym membership card, and transform us into a totally unrecognizable person during the festive season. Never mind that for the rest of the year the home is always in a state of chaotic mess, or you’ve only used the gym for two months since signing up for it two years ago, or you’ve always scoff at people who do the direct opposite of what they proclaimed. During the holidays, you’re permitted to overwrite any values or rules you’ve laid out for yourself. Potent force, isn’t it?
The desire to measure up reaches its peak during the holidays. All of a sudden, we get the energy to do the things which we’ve relentlessly resisted for the past 11 months. Why? Because we want to show people our best self (‘Wow, you’re so toned!“), our spick and span home (“Your place is so neat!“), and serve them the best food (“This is the best roasted turkey I’ve ever tasted.“). Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good in front of others or to give your best to your guests. But to what extend? To the extend of being someone you’re not? To the extend of cramming a year’s worth of exercises into three weekends, and risk injuring yourself in the process? To the extend of getting all stressed up and messed up just for a night or two? If these improvements inspire you to change for good, then congratulations, I’m glad for you. But more often than not, when the holidays are over, everything goes back to normal.
Why not be comfortable with yourself and enjoy a less stressful holiday? What if your home is a bit on the cluttered side? It’s your home and it shows your preference and personality. What if the foods are less than ideal? Would you rather spend time cooking up a storm in the kitchen for the whole evening, or have a relaxing time with your guests? What if you’re who you’re? What’s wrong with being yourself anyway?
Think back of the days when you truly enjoy the holidays without worries and without a long to-do list. Although you may not be able to relinquish all duties and obligations now, it’s entirely possible to shed those unnecessary workloads that you pile on yourself voluntarily and unconsciously. I wish you a stress-free and joyful holiday season.
Great perspective, Wee! I now enjoy the holidays more then ever simply because I focus on why they’re important to me … time with family.
Can’t agree more, Vin. It just seems crazy to me to get all stressed up over the holidays when all of us should be enjoying with our loved ones and taking the chance to rest and recuperate for the new year.
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