Balance Work and Life in 3 Simple Steps
If you feel your life is all work and no play, read on
No matter how successful we are in our career, there’s always a yearning for deeper connection within ourselves and with others. Unfortunately, many of us are not working in an environment or doing the kind of work that fulfill this need. More often than not, we find ourselves constantly in a rush either to get to somewhere, to finish a task, or to meet an imaginary deadline, leaving little time for ourselves, our family and our friends. The frantic pace we are leading gives rise to a touch-and-go society where we simply don’t have time to delve deeply into anything, even with ourselves and our loved ones. Is it a surprise then that many feel that their lives are out of balance and superficial? With a glaring hole left in our lives, is it a wonder that many people are disillusioned about their job, or suffering from long-term stress, generalized anxiety and depression?
Work-Life Balance Is Possible
The good news is, striking a balance between work and life isn’t as hard as we or the media have made it out to be. It’s not necessary to quit your job and downgrade your living standard in order to enjoy a successful career and a fulfilling life. We just need to identify and make time for a few activities that really matter to us. These activities are what I called the soul activities.
What is a Soul Activity?
A soul activity is one that brings satisfaction, depth and joy to your heart. It can involve only yourself, with your loved ones or with your community. It may or may not bring you money, fame or any tangible results, but that doesn’t bother you. What really matters to you is that it makes you feel alive, wholesome or complete again. You’re 100 percent absorbed in it, not halfheartedly, and there’s a strong desire to do more, or to find out as much as you can about the activity. No matter what it is, you do it not because someone said you should, but because it gives you values which you feel are important to you as a human being.
On the contrary, when there’s a lack of soul activities in our lives, existence becomes a drudge, hard work and out of kilter. In this case, we do things not because we like to, but because we have to. This in turn leads to an absent of mindfulness because we are always thinking about the other things we would rather be doing.
To illustrate soul activities, here are a few examples to give you an idea:
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Spending time reading stories or playing with your kids each night.
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Taking time to perform for residents in a nursing home regularly.
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Practicing mindfulness meditation every morning to reconnect with yourself.
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Following an exercise regime religiously three times a week.
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Playing your bass guitar for a negligible fee at the pub every Wednesday night.
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Churning out stories that have been occupying your head one page at a time.
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Scouting for new baseball cards to add to your collections every week.
You get the drift.
How to Incorporate Soul Activities in Your Life
How do you know what are your soul activities? And how can you incorporate them into your busy lives? Below is a quick 3-step exercise to help you answer these questions.
1. Identify Your Soul Activities
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Think of one activity you can do right now to restore a sense of balance to your life. Give your first reaction in the space below without censoring your answer.
Often, we have an inkling of what we can do to correct an unbalanced state, but procrastination or resistance usually gets in the way. By answering the question above, you bring the solution to the surface of your consciousness in a manner that you can act on it.
You probably have a couple of things you like to do. But trying to do too many things at a time is a surefire way to revert back to the touch-and-go syndrome. Think the quality of attention you can realistically give to an activity rather than the number of activities you can complete. So, I suggest introducing one new soul activity into your life at a time. Doing one activity as opposed to trying to do three simultaneously is also less demanding on your time. After you’ve successful integrated one into your life, you can always add more later. Of course, this is by no means a rule, just a rule of thumb. Bend it whichever way you want to fit the unique situation you find yourself in.
2. Schedule the Activity in Your Calendar
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Copy what you’ve typed above into your calendar now. Depending on what you want to do, schedule a recurring appointment with yourself that repeats daily, every week, a few times a week, or every fortnightly to make time for your soul activity. Ideally, you shouldn’t have to wait for months to repeat your next activity. But don’t be overly ambitious either, and create a schedule that is impossible to follow. If you don’t use a calendar, write it in a notebook or a post-it pad to commit yourself to the chosen activity.
3. Take Action
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Respect the appointment you’ve made with yourself and carry it through without fail. Only you have the power to restore balance in your own life. Unless something really important crops up, resist the temptation to cancel or re-schedule it. Treat the time for your soul activity as a sacred time slot that influences your overall well-being. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t review and make necessary adjustments to it over time. If you find that time before work is a better period to engage in your soul activity than after work hours, by all means shift your arrangement.
If you’ve missed an appointment for some reason, jump right back the next time around. The worse thing that can happen is to quit just because you’ve missed one. An all or nothing negative thinking pattern is the perfect way, which we don’t need, to drive us to the extremes of the work-life balance.
What are your soul activities? How would you tweak the 3-step exercise to make it work better for you? Share your views with us. Thank you in advance!
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Very thoughtful article. For a fresh take on building strong careers and families, check out Getting to 50/50 — on how men and women share roles with all sorts of good results — including a healthier sex life. The book also debunks some common myths that cause many moms to back away from their jobs. Authors Sharon Meers (a Goldman MD now in tech) and Joanna Strober (a private equity exec) share their often funny tales of combining work and family. Definitely a book worth checking out. gettingto5050.blogspot.com